Lore-Bing
04-22-2005, 04:25 PM
Friends Till the Big Rear End
Matthew Perry, more zaftig than his usual zany, was over at the bar. I thought, What the hell. It's not like we'll chat rehab or anything (I busted myself of the booze and dope noninstitutionally, but, hey, whatever works). Roosevelt Hotel pool again.
This time for Paper Magazine's Beautiful People pah-tay. Can't these rags come up with more original soiree themes, like Implants vs. Kabbalah: Find Your Inner Piece? Never mind.
I began my approach, and Perry's brow furrowed immediately. I wanted to shake things up a bit. And, no, I didn't ask the Friends player who'd he marry if he were gay. That would be, like, so five columns ago. Get real.
I polled the former Friend on what he considered a very unbeautiful trait, and here's what he happily hooted: "People who run polls," he said evenly but with just a smidgeon of antitabloid furrowed-brow biz. "Didja see what I just did there?" he asked anxiously, so very proud.
Oh, Matt-doll. I expected something nastier from your rehabilitated butt. Better luck on your comebacks next time, 'kay?
http://cache.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/Images2003/perry.matthew.111903.jpg (there is the scar under his chin).
Lore
Matthew Perry, more zaftig than his usual zany, was over at the bar. I thought, What the hell. It's not like we'll chat rehab or anything (I busted myself of the booze and dope noninstitutionally, but, hey, whatever works). Roosevelt Hotel pool again.
This time for Paper Magazine's Beautiful People pah-tay. Can't these rags come up with more original soiree themes, like Implants vs. Kabbalah: Find Your Inner Piece? Never mind.
I began my approach, and Perry's brow furrowed immediately. I wanted to shake things up a bit. And, no, I didn't ask the Friends player who'd he marry if he were gay. That would be, like, so five columns ago. Get real.
I polled the former Friend on what he considered a very unbeautiful trait, and here's what he happily hooted: "People who run polls," he said evenly but with just a smidgeon of antitabloid furrowed-brow biz. "Didja see what I just did there?" he asked anxiously, so very proud.
Oh, Matt-doll. I expected something nastier from your rehabilitated butt. Better luck on your comebacks next time, 'kay?
http://cache.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/Images2003/perry.matthew.111903.jpg (there is the scar under his chin).
Lore