Greyhawk
05-27-2005, 12:53 PM
*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.
TOW All The Changes
[ At the Hospital, the next morning. Chandler is starting to wake up and the gang is standing by his bed ]
Joey: Welcome back!
Chandler: Thanks, man.
Monica: Chandler, I am so very sorr....
Chandler (interrupting): No, Mon. I'm sorry. I've been acting like a brat.
** The doctor enters **
Doctor: You were very lucky, son
Chandler (Looking at his friends): I've been lucky all along...I just never knew it.
Doctor: I want you to slow it down. Give yourself time to recover. But above all, stop smoking. Those will kill you
Chandler: I know and I will
Doctor: Been having stress at work, I hear?
Chandler: Yeah. I hate my job. But I guess everybody does, right?
Doctor: I love my job
Rachel: Me too
Joey: Same Here
Ross: Double for me
Chandler: Great! Everybody has the perfect job, except for me. Even Ross's job is cooler than mine.
** Pause **
Chandler: OH MY GOD! I can't believe Ross has a cooler job than me!
-- Opening Credits --
[ Still at the hospital ]
Doctor: Maybe you should consider looking for another job. Maybe a job where you will be happy?
Chandler: Will that help my health?
Doctor: Stress is one factor. It's been my experience that those who are happy at work, have less stress in their lives, both professional and personal.
Chandler: I wouldn't even know where to look
Monica: You don't have to think about it right now
Doctor: Right. Now, just concentrate on getting better and everything else will take care of itself.
** Chandler nods in agreement **
Doctor: And I want you to modify your diet.
** The doctor hands Chandler a paper **
Chandler: Lets see....don't eat pork, meat, eggs.. (annoyed): Oh come on! What am I supposed to eat when I'm watching a game on TV
Doctor: Instead of pretzels, try carrots
Chandler: Oh yeah! Hey come on in! The game's about to start. Help yourselves to some celery and tofu!
Monica: Don't worry. We'll make sure he sticks to the diet
Doctor: You're friends really do care about you. I know with their love and support, you'll be able to adjust fine
Chandler: When can I leave?
Doctor: Not for a while, I'm afraid. You've been thru a lot. We'd like to keep you here for several more days, and run some more tests
Chandler: Great! We had tickets to the Knicks playoff game!
Monica (angry): After all you've been thru, you'd rather go to a stupid basketball game than try to get better? Maybe the doctor should check your head next!
** Ross puts his arm around his little sister, in an attempt to calm her down **
Chandler: I'm sorry, but everything is changing so quickly.
Monica: I know it's hard, but we'll help you. In fact, we could all stand to go on a diet.
Doctor: That's a great idea
Joey: WHAT????
Monica: We'll follow this diet too.
** Joey stares at Monica **
Monica: Yes, you too, Joey!
Doctor: It's never too late to take your heath seriously, son.
Joey: Why? I didn't have a heart attack!
Doctor: That's nothing to joke about, son.....
Chandler (laughing even though it hurts): That's OK. Where I live, we consider this to be normal.
Doctor: OK. Chandler needs his rest and from the looks of it, so do you.
** One by one the gang says goodbye to Chandler **
-- Commercial --
[ At Chandler and Joey's apartment. Rachel is going thru the freezer ]
Joey: NO! Not the bacon!
Rachel: Say goodbye
** Rachel throws the bacon in the trash and Joey quickly tries to retrieve it, but Ross smacks his hand **
Ross: Really, Joey. Show some self-control
Rachel: When Phoebe took the ham and threw it in the dumpster, it took both her and Monica to restrain Joey from going in after it
** Ross stares at Joey **
Joey (whining voice): It was the ham, dammit!
Rachel: Joey, you may not want to watch this
** Rachel pulls out the beer as Joey looks on in horror, and tries to snatch one, but Phoebe knocks it out of his hand **
Phoebe: Don't make me kick your ass, Tribbiani!
** Joey finally concedes and turns around as he could not bear to watch. Joey cringes with the sound of every can and bottle of beer being opened and poured down the drain, as Rachel and Ross empty every last drop**
Joey: That's just mean!
Rachel: Sorry sweetie, we're under orders from Monica.
Ross: And it's for your own good!
Joey: Where is the Food Police at anyway?
Rachel: She's at that new heath food store. She'll be back later
Joey: Heath food? That's just a nice way of saying "Crap"
Rachel: OK we're done here! Now let's go and clean out our freezer
Ross: What?
Rachel: We're in this together. We need to show Chandler he does not have to do this alone.
Ross: But
Joey (smugly): It's for your own good
** Ross frowns and leaves in a huff **
** Joey stares at the empty beer bottles **
Joey: Another innocent victim, caught in the middle
** Joey grabs a stool and climbs to the top cabinet and reaches for a package of donuts and climbs down, not knowing Phoebe was standing behind him **
Phoebe: JOSEPH FRANCIS TRIBBIANI!
Joey: Aw crap!
Phoebe: I'll take that, thank you
** Phoebe leaves with the donuts **
-- Ending Credits --
[At the hospital. Chandler is staring at the walls. Joey enters ]
Chandler: Hey man, I thought you'd be watching the game
Joey (wheeling a portable TV in the room): I am
Chandler: But this is the playoff game. I thought you'd want to see it in person
Joey: No. I just want to watch it with you
** Joey makes sure nobody is around and tosses Chandler a candy bar **
Chandler: Thanks, dude
Joey: Enjoy it, because if Monica has her way, it's the last piece of junk food we'll ever eat
* Joey turns on the TV and sits in a chair next to Chandler *
TOW All The Changes
[ At the Hospital, the next morning. Chandler is starting to wake up and the gang is standing by his bed ]
Joey: Welcome back!
Chandler: Thanks, man.
Monica: Chandler, I am so very sorr....
Chandler (interrupting): No, Mon. I'm sorry. I've been acting like a brat.
** The doctor enters **
Doctor: You were very lucky, son
Chandler (Looking at his friends): I've been lucky all along...I just never knew it.
Doctor: I want you to slow it down. Give yourself time to recover. But above all, stop smoking. Those will kill you
Chandler: I know and I will
Doctor: Been having stress at work, I hear?
Chandler: Yeah. I hate my job. But I guess everybody does, right?
Doctor: I love my job
Rachel: Me too
Joey: Same Here
Ross: Double for me
Chandler: Great! Everybody has the perfect job, except for me. Even Ross's job is cooler than mine.
** Pause **
Chandler: OH MY GOD! I can't believe Ross has a cooler job than me!
-- Opening Credits --
[ Still at the hospital ]
Doctor: Maybe you should consider looking for another job. Maybe a job where you will be happy?
Chandler: Will that help my health?
Doctor: Stress is one factor. It's been my experience that those who are happy at work, have less stress in their lives, both professional and personal.
Chandler: I wouldn't even know where to look
Monica: You don't have to think about it right now
Doctor: Right. Now, just concentrate on getting better and everything else will take care of itself.
** Chandler nods in agreement **
Doctor: And I want you to modify your diet.
** The doctor hands Chandler a paper **
Chandler: Lets see....don't eat pork, meat, eggs.. (annoyed): Oh come on! What am I supposed to eat when I'm watching a game on TV
Doctor: Instead of pretzels, try carrots
Chandler: Oh yeah! Hey come on in! The game's about to start. Help yourselves to some celery and tofu!
Monica: Don't worry. We'll make sure he sticks to the diet
Doctor: You're friends really do care about you. I know with their love and support, you'll be able to adjust fine
Chandler: When can I leave?
Doctor: Not for a while, I'm afraid. You've been thru a lot. We'd like to keep you here for several more days, and run some more tests
Chandler: Great! We had tickets to the Knicks playoff game!
Monica (angry): After all you've been thru, you'd rather go to a stupid basketball game than try to get better? Maybe the doctor should check your head next!
** Ross puts his arm around his little sister, in an attempt to calm her down **
Chandler: I'm sorry, but everything is changing so quickly.
Monica: I know it's hard, but we'll help you. In fact, we could all stand to go on a diet.
Doctor: That's a great idea
Joey: WHAT????
Monica: We'll follow this diet too.
** Joey stares at Monica **
Monica: Yes, you too, Joey!
Doctor: It's never too late to take your heath seriously, son.
Joey: Why? I didn't have a heart attack!
Doctor: That's nothing to joke about, son.....
Chandler (laughing even though it hurts): That's OK. Where I live, we consider this to be normal.
Doctor: OK. Chandler needs his rest and from the looks of it, so do you.
** One by one the gang says goodbye to Chandler **
-- Commercial --
[ At Chandler and Joey's apartment. Rachel is going thru the freezer ]
Joey: NO! Not the bacon!
Rachel: Say goodbye
** Rachel throws the bacon in the trash and Joey quickly tries to retrieve it, but Ross smacks his hand **
Ross: Really, Joey. Show some self-control
Rachel: When Phoebe took the ham and threw it in the dumpster, it took both her and Monica to restrain Joey from going in after it
** Ross stares at Joey **
Joey (whining voice): It was the ham, dammit!
Rachel: Joey, you may not want to watch this
** Rachel pulls out the beer as Joey looks on in horror, and tries to snatch one, but Phoebe knocks it out of his hand **
Phoebe: Don't make me kick your ass, Tribbiani!
** Joey finally concedes and turns around as he could not bear to watch. Joey cringes with the sound of every can and bottle of beer being opened and poured down the drain, as Rachel and Ross empty every last drop**
Joey: That's just mean!
Rachel: Sorry sweetie, we're under orders from Monica.
Ross: And it's for your own good!
Joey: Where is the Food Police at anyway?
Rachel: She's at that new heath food store. She'll be back later
Joey: Heath food? That's just a nice way of saying "Crap"
Rachel: OK we're done here! Now let's go and clean out our freezer
Ross: What?
Rachel: We're in this together. We need to show Chandler he does not have to do this alone.
Ross: But
Joey (smugly): It's for your own good
** Ross frowns and leaves in a huff **
** Joey stares at the empty beer bottles **
Joey: Another innocent victim, caught in the middle
** Joey grabs a stool and climbs to the top cabinet and reaches for a package of donuts and climbs down, not knowing Phoebe was standing behind him **
Phoebe: JOSEPH FRANCIS TRIBBIANI!
Joey: Aw crap!
Phoebe: I'll take that, thank you
** Phoebe leaves with the donuts **
-- Ending Credits --
[At the hospital. Chandler is staring at the walls. Joey enters ]
Chandler: Hey man, I thought you'd be watching the game
Joey (wheeling a portable TV in the room): I am
Chandler: But this is the playoff game. I thought you'd want to see it in person
Joey: No. I just want to watch it with you
** Joey makes sure nobody is around and tosses Chandler a candy bar **
Chandler: Thanks, dude
Joey: Enjoy it, because if Monica has her way, it's the last piece of junk food we'll ever eat
* Joey turns on the TV and sits in a chair next to Chandler *